lowest moment of my life...

Just wednesday evening around 8 pm, after i had my dinner, i felt pain in my lower abdomen, went out to our room as i thought it will relieve by lying in bed, but the pain gets so intense and for just a couple of hours it became excruciating pain and when i sat up in the bed i felt gush of blood with a big tissue on it, my husband brought me to the nearest hospital right then with no bra under my shirt and just wearing my pajamas with alittle blood on it, yikes, i felt sooo yuckky....oh i just cant describe the pain, i cant barely walk, no matter how i tried to reposition myself just to ease the pain but nothing else i can do but to cry and squeezed my husband's hand, while waiting for the doctor in er, i had heavy bleeding with big blood clot, and around 4 am the doctor came and examined me and he said that there's a tissue in the blood clots, and then he said i had a miscarriage as my cervix is open already, my God that word really hit me so bad, even painful than the pain that i'm going through at that time, so thankful wiht the morphine that doctor injected on me though, that really eased the pain, but gosh that word is really shocking to us, both my husband and i, my gosh i just cant believe it. Around 2:30 pm, i had an ultrasound just to make sure if i had a miscarriage or not and to make sure too if there's still tissue left in my uterus, but so sad to say, the nurse cant see anything during the ultrasound, no baby anymore and no tissue left too....gosh, i felt no hope there, i just cant believe i dont have my little angel inside me now, i cried so hard, its a devastating news for both my husband and i....but my husband is so supportive of me, he was strong and tried to explain to me at that moment that its not our time yet to have a baby this time.

after the ultrasound, while waiting for the doctor at the lobby, the nurse who took care of me while i was in er, she came to us and really touched our heart, she expelained to us that probably its a will of God, she said she's working with special children, she said to us that the baby or the fetus might have a problem already thats why God didnt allow that to continue and she said we have little angel in heaven watching over us now. That nurse really a blessing to us, because i kept on asking myself and my husband what went wrong as i am so careful with my pregnancy, but because of what she told us, it really enlightened our heart and our mind.

Its just awkward now that the signs and symptoms of pregnancy like the tenderness of my breast, and frequent urination are suddenly gone now. I've been so careful with my pregnancy, our family doctor was shocked as i am 2 months pregnant already and he said that the percentage of miscarriage in that period of pregnancy are just 25%....oh well, i am included in that 25% though, so unlucky for me. But i believe in what the nurse told us, its not our time yet, probably the fetus or the embryo (as its still 8 weeks though) has problems already. It's true i guess, as i had bleeding for more than a week already and around 4 days after i start my blood spotting as it should be, it seems my bleeding gets heavier everyday until last wednesday night, i suspected unusual there. Oh well, God has other plan for us, i know there's always a reason for this. God will give us something that we can handle. Its just so sad for my family though, especially to my parents, they are so excited with the baby as its their first grandchild. Well, there's always next time, my husband and i wont stop to give them a healthy grandchild, in God's will.

I am so thankful with my husband as he is so supportive of me, he stands strong for us, he never lost hope. He holds and hugged me wholeday and really took care of me, that insident, it makes us stronger and realized how important our life together. I'm thankful too that my husband is on vacation right now for a month, i wont be alone at home then, it will be easier for me as i'm still recovering right now.

God work in mysterious ways, He knows whats best for us. For 2 months being pregnant, its been a wonderful feeling, everyday is truly a miracle for me. There's always next time, and for sure God will give us a pretty healthy baby next time, who knows a twin maybe.

my first visit to the doctor...

Just had my first visit to my husband's family doctor this noon, he checked my blood pressure, my tummy, asked me several questions and he said my expected date of delivery is on first or second week of June....a gemini probably, wow its a twin sign, i just hope i dont have twins, gosh its hard to take care for two babies though, yikes...but if its God's will then so be it. I will have alot of lab test to do and ultrasound too, checking how my baby is doing and to make sure that i'm healthy too.

Dr. Mckinze and his wife Pam are very close to terry and his father before, they are like second parents of my husband. He is the doctor of my husband since he was young. They are so thrilled and happy knowing that Terry will be a father soon. When i met them for the first time, they are so nice to me, they treated me so well, as if their second daughter too. I'm so happy to have a doctor that really take care of me. Rest assured that i will have a best doctor then.

God bless to all!

First trimester of my pregnancy...

For a first timer preggy like me, curious about all the happenings thats going on in my body right now. Still at the first trimester stage of my pregnancy, i sure do experience alot of changes in my body. During my first month, i felt tenderness of my breast, fatigue and the worst part is clog nose and minor nose bleed. I just had pinkish spotting when i hit my 2nd month, i feel nauseated and dizzy since the first month but never really vomit....hmmm...i guess thats another thing to expect this month.....i just had my appetite though, during my first month, i dont really like to eat, total aversion of main foods, all i can eat is just fruits and liquid intake, thank God my appetite is coming back right now, worst is that i crave mostly filipino foods, especially soup....hmmm i miss filipino foods right now, i miss the usual filipino soup, tinolang isda with malunggay...mmm yum!

Everything new that my body is experiencing right now, i always make sure its all natural, and so i keep on reading about pregnancy almost everyday.
what else you can do to put all the worries aside, you should be equipped with all the knowledge about it, you would know if its unsual or not and you would know the time you consult your doctor too.

through reading ~~during first trimester, a baby is concieved when a woman releases mature egg during ovulation and fertilised by strongest sperm amongst millions that releases during ejaculation by the man. Its the man determines the sex of the child as his genes carries half of the girl's chromosome which is x and the other half is y chromosome for the boy. For the mother she carries xx chromosomes. Both carries 23 genes and during conceptus both genes combined to create a unique person that carries different genetic make-up from both parents of 46 chromosomes. This genetic coding goes until 5 days, then the morula or the ball of genetic coded cells starts to travel from fallopian tube down to the mother's uterus, it takes 6 days to travel though and burrows to the lining of the uterus. It's why there's spotting during 12 weeks of pregnancy.

In 14 days, it becomes an embryo and fully implanted to the lining of the uterus. It is the time the mother feels changes in her body as the baby is united and tap to mother's blood stream. And so the baby releases hormone calle HCG or human chorionic gonadotrophin, so the mother's blood is the main source of norishment for the growing of the baby. For the entire 12 weeks or first trimester, the mother's body changes to provide a nurturing and protective environment for the baby to grow and develop. This is the time the mother feels morning sickness, frequent trips in the cr due to more supply of blood and fluids in the body for the baby, tenderness of the breast as the milk ducts prepares for the baby, nose bleed or bleeding gums due to excessive blood in the skin; bloating and cramps and backache, you usually feel it before your MP due to the growing of the uterus, another thing is tiredness and fatigue, dizziness and fainting as your body is adjusting to the changes of the body. Headaches is present too due to hormonal changes.

And for the baby, or for fetal development during first trimester: first week, conception occurs, second week is the fertilization, were both 23 chromosomes from the father and the mother combines and make it 46 chromosomes in which it contains genetic materials that determines the sex and traits such as the eye color, height, facial features and character of the baby. 3rd week is the implantation, where the balstocyst travels from fallopian tubes then burrows to the uterine wall for the nourishment. Placenta is form that will nourish the baby throughout pregnancy. 4th week, embryonic form begins, the baby's brain, spinal cord, heart and neural tubes and other organs begin to form. 5th week, the heart begins to beat, the blood vessels complete the circuit and the blood circulation starts. 6th week, the neural tube closes and the baby's heart beats in a regular rhythm. Basic facial features begin and respiratory and digestive systems begin to form too. 7th week, the umbilical cord appears, the baby's face is more define now, tiny nose, mouth and ears are visible now, you can see the paddle of the arm too. 8th week, the baby fingers and toes form this time, you can see the knees, elbows and wrist, and the the facial features i smore visible. The heart rate beats fast too as twice as the heart beats of the mother. 9th week, you can feel the movememt of the baby now, nipples and hair follicles and the internal reproductive system starts to form now. 10th week, the neurons multiply, baby's vital organ have a solid foundation now. The fingers and the toes are fully formed, tooth buds is forming as well, and if your baby is a boy, he starts producing the male hormone testosterone now.
11th week, the baby is a fetus now, the genitalia is develop and recognizable now, it's the time you can determine if your baby is a boy or a female. 12th week, the baby's fingernails and toenails appear and the nose and chin is more refined this time, and the head is nearly half the size of the entire body.

There, i said it all, i do hope i help those first time mommy to be in their quest in finding the answers to all the worries and questions about the body changes during first trimester. I will update and write my experiences and what to expect when i am in my second trimester of my pregnancy soon.

The joy of being a mommy......

My rottweiler and my love bird...

Just another cold monday morning...home alone as usual as my husband has to go to work, as its the first day of the week again. Oh not totally alone actually, i have my rottweiler dog Akira, and my little love bird Jojo.

They keep me sane when my husband is away working. Jojo is not just a usual love bird though, it seems she has her mind of her own little brain, she knows how to make "tampo", if ever you are awake and she knows it and you forgot to greet her, gosh she will chirp sooo loud, she doesnt like to be ignored, she wants your attention all the time. She sometimes get jealous with Akira, if she see me or my husband playing with akira, she will bang her bell and chirp so loud. She loves to play though, she loves talking alot i mean chirping with you while you are talking to her and she loves to hide and seek with us, especially with my husband. and oh she loves music and watching tv too.

With Akira, oh she's adorable dog. never given us a headache, she's a well trained dog, very gentle, loves to hug and loves to play with my husband. It seems she knows i'm pregnant, she's so gentle with me, she never really jump on me if ever she's excited, unlike with my husband though, if she's near me, she just lick my foot or hands, and she's always beside me, in a way of telling me she loves me and she's protecting me and my little angel in my womb. Our one big happy family and counting....

my pitt lake walk....

i've been pregnant for almost 2 months now, craving for different foods and i can see myself that i'm getting bigger and no exercise...so i asked my husband that we should go for a walk, maybe in a mall or any recreation area. And so just this morning my husband drove me to the pitt lake, sure we exercised as we walked for long gosh....but i had so much fun, the area is really nice, you can go picnic there but not at this time of the year though as its supeeerrrrr cold.

Along the way, as we walk through the dike, we saw lots of animals such as seagull, ducks, geese, heron, swan, crows and most of all in which my husband said its just rare...an eagle, isn't that nice? just rare times and i had the chance to see one.....oh i had a blast day.....

Pitt lake is one of the tourist spot here in maple ridge, its a park and it's known for picnic site, just go strolling and enjoying the scenery of the mother nature or go boating and fishing at the huge lake....mostly people going there are bringing there own boat. But you can rent a small boat too, if you want to go romantically, you can eat lunch or have a snack by the boat with your special someone....i would love to go back there again with our rottweiler dog... Akira....oh with our baby soon too, it would be a family picnic then.....

Have a nice sunny weekend!

Going to be a mother soon!

I just had my pregnancy test, twice 2 nights in a row, wow its all positive....no wonder i feel so tired lately, i have this mood swings that i dont understand sometimes. i know i feel the changes in my body but i keep on ignoring it.

When i saw the pregnancy test, gosh i have this mixed feelings, i felt so much joy in my heart at that moment but sad at the same time as its so soon for us (me and my hubby), i still have plans but i guess God's plan is different for us....well, its what i wanted actually, to be a mother soon, and God know's i'm not getting any younger.....All our plans suddenly freezes, but what the heck we can do all those in a couple of years....life is more precious than ambition. God knows whats best, so i guess its perfect time for us.

Amazing how your body changes, not easy actually. Just lately i felt mild pain in my tummy same as you feel when your M.P. is coming, mild nose bleed, fatigue, nauseated and very emotional; according to what i read, its all normal...oh there's one too, i always feel bloated because of gas, again its normal during first trimester of pregnancy...

I know it wont be easy for the rest 8 months, being pregnant and giving birth is just the beginning. I am thankful for the blessings that God has given us, He truly answers my prayers.

God bless you all!

another lazy day for me....

i wanted to write this morning about my celine dion concert experience last oct. 21st in vancouver but i feel tired again just thinking about it, grrrr...lately i am so grouchy and lazy, gosh i dont know why hmmm.....maybe because the weather here, its been raining lately, i cant go out to clean the front yard as lots of falling leaves now or even do some gardening as i really want to plant more bulb flowers in preparation for spring....hmmmmmmm wait a minute, i've been here for almost 2 months now, and just experiencing this kind of weather, i guess its a part of my adjustment period here...oh well, the joy of living here in BC canada.....oh i should be thankful though, BC has the mildest weather than the rest of canada, infact its been snowy now, mostly part of canada except british columbia.

Have a blessed day to all!